The Natural Parents are Coming! Hide the Stroller!

On the weekend of October 8 some of the amazing women and men who work hard to make Natural Parents Network the wonderful community and resource that it is got together for a meet-up at two locations across the U.S. — the Midwest and the Northwest. This was the first time that many of the volunteers have met in person after a year of collaborating on this amazing website. Please scroll to the bottom of this post for a list of links so that you can read what some of the other volunteers had to say about this incredible First Annual Natural Parents Network Team Get-Together!

(This post was writtern BEFORE the gathering)

The Natural Parents are coming to my house! I am hosting the Pacific Northwest contingent of the bloggers from Natural Parents Network this weekend. It came out that we are all terrified of not being perfect enough, for being seen in our faults and oddities and shortcomings and bad hair. I will plug in the straightening iron and make gluten-free quiche but there are some things I’d like to get out in the open:

1) I might look like suzy homemaker on the outside, but on the inside I’m a ball of doubt and fear. My wife does all of the cooking, we have 15 hours/week of live-in child care and I barter for house cleaning by a friend. I simply cannot manage my house and one child and my small businesses all by myself and I have terrible guilt about needing help.  After 14 years of working with children, parenting is the hardest job ever.

2) A few of our toys are Plastic. There, I said it. I don’t own stock in Amy and Doug. I own stock in “Free or used.”  If you need me to put the plastic ones up while you are here, don’t hesitate to ask. I wouldn’t want your child to catch cancer here.

3) I’m a germ-phobe. I don’t know how to or can’t trust natural ways of boosting our immunity.  I think it came from too many years as a nanny an a preschool teacher. I never developed immunity, I’ve just been easy to get sick my entire life. Same is so far true for Iris. So I might ask you to use a  natural hand sanitizing wipe when you enter my home. Its not personal.

4)I didn’t really do babywearing. It made my back hurt even though she has always been tiny, but I carried and snuggled her a lot. She could easily fit in an Ergo but I have become a stoller parent. I love my stroller more than an attached parent should.  However, my wife has always worn her every morning in ergo or kelty.

5) I’m totally not into homeschooling. I have said this before and always with the disclaimer that I will be hated for it. I even have a wierd bone to pick with Waldorf because they don’t like early reading. (However, I do trust you to do what is right for your own child).

6) I believe in discipline (gently) and we say “No” in our house. I am teaching my child manners, listening skills and sometimes even compliance. Please and Thank you are very important to me. Even, “okay, mama. I heard you.”

7.) I use the swiffer-sweeper. No. I LOVE the swiffer sweeper. It is not at all “green.”

8.) I verbally process tirelessly about my lack of sleep, our child’s sleep disorder and my various and non-stop body aches and pains. I say process, but you will likely hear “complaining.”  On in the same vein..I’m Jewish. (Well, okay, I’m a Jewish, christian church-going, practicing Buddhist but that is too much to explain here.)

9 ) I’m a lesbian. I guess you’ve gathered that by now. There is a photo in our livingroom of my wife and I kissing at our wedding. If you don’t want your kids to see it, don’t come to my house. Don’t worry, we don’t dry dildos by the fireplace. In fact, we’re probably not having any more sex than the rest of you. Contrary to the title of this blog, there is nothing inherently different about lesbian parenting other than being the odd ones in the parenting group.

To learn more about all the members of the Natural Parents Network team, visit our about page. To become a volunteer for NPN, first please check out what we’re in need of, then contact us if you’re interested in helping out. Here’s information about some of our lovely volunteers, including all of those who are writing about the gathering today:

In The First Annual Natural Parents Network Cross-Country Get Together, Natural Parents Network thanks the many volunteers who made our first annual get-together a success, and the awesome companies who donated to fill “welcome bags” for the Midwest group.

Northwest Gathering Attendees:

Lauren at Hobo Mama writes Meeting My NPN Friends.  Also find Lauren on Twitter and Facebook!

Amy at Anktangle writes Meeting the NPN Family.  Also find Amy on Twitter and Facebook.

Arpita at Up, Down & Natural writes Me And My Ladies ~ First Annual NPN Team Gathering.  Also find Arpita on Twitter and Facebook.

Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings writes Seattle Bloggy Meetup & Gluten-free Shortbread! Also find Kristin on Twitter and Facebook!

Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy writes Meeting Those People…. Also find Jennifer on Twitter.

Shannon at Pineapples & Artichokes writes Thanks.

Moorea at MamaLady: Adventures in Lesbian Parenting writes The Natural Parents Are Coming! Hide the Stroller!

Midwest Gathering Attendees:

Dionna at Code Name: Mama writes Wanted: More NPN Volunteers in Kansas City! Also find Dionna on Twitter and Facebook!

Jorje at Momma Jorje writes Vacation Weekend with Volunteers.  Also find Jorje on Facebook!

Amy at Peace 4 Parents writes The Value of Parent-to-Parent Support, Truth, Love, and Healing.  Also find Amy on Twitter and Facebook.

Amanda at Let’s Take the Metro writes The Gathering.  Also find Amanda on Facebook.

Joni Rae at Tales of Kitchen Witch writes The One Where I Go to the NPN Gathering.  Also find Joni Rae on Twitter and Facebook.

Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children writes First Natural Parents Network Get Together.

Rebekah & Chris at Liberated Family.  Also find Rebekah & Chris on Twitter.

Fabulous NPN Volunteers who were unable to attend:

Melissa at The New Mommy Files writes Building a Modern Day Village.  Find Melissa on Twitter and Facebook.

Rachael at The Variegated Life.  Find Rachel on Twitter and Facebook.

Luschka at Diary of a First Child writes Dear Screen Name, Are You Really My Friend? Find Luschka on Twitter and Facebook.

Darcel at The Mahogany Way writes The Natural Parents Network Gathering I Couldn’t Attend.  Find Darcel on Twitter and Facebook.

Sarah at Parenting God’s Children. Find Sarah on Twitter and Facebook.

Julia at A Little Bit of All of It. Find Julia on Twitter and Facebook.

About mooreamalatt

Find my whole bio here:!about/cktc
This entry was posted in Political/Queer. Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to The Natural Parents are Coming! Hide the Stroller!

  1. Momma Jorje says:

    Not that I’ll be at the PNW gathering, but…
    1) I hardly cook for my family at all. We also eat a lot of convenience food. My older daughter loves Chef Boyardee and we both dig frozen chimichangas.
    2) I’m very cool with free / used. I’m not too worried about plastic. I’ve turned out alright so far.
    3) –
    4) I haven’t done babywearing anywhere near as much as I’d like! Yeah, it just hasn’t been comfortable for very long at a time. I plan to try again with Spencer and hope to have better luck with a different sling.
    5) –
    6) We say no… sometimes you have to.
    7) Swiffer Sweeper is da bomb. lol I don’t know how else to get my floor clean without getting down and scrubbing it by hand with a sponge. 😛
    8) I’m an atheist. Talk about outsiders!
    9) I’m a freak. But I don’t display it out in front of guests… much. LOL

    Yeah, its been refreshing to see how many of this NPN bunch isn’t perfect (either)!

  2. Ok, much of this made me chuckle (because I’m still amused that we’re all so nervous about not being NP “enough” for each other, but “I wouldn’t want your child to catch cancer here.” and “Don’t worry, we don’t dry dildos by the fireplace.” just about made me lose it.
    Should I use this as an opportunity to admit that Amy and I ate Nestle brand chocolate chips this week? *Total* NP faux pas.

  3. Amy Phoenix says:

    Thanks for baring all, Moorea. I look forward to meeting you on Google+. 🙂

  4. There’s nothing on this list that surprises me or makes me think less of you one little bit. I’d like to see the list of rules everyone seems to be holding themselves up to! There are so many ways to be a “natural” or “attachment” parent, I’m glad we don’t all choose the same path or methods. I’m very much looking forward to meeting you (and your wife) and I will gladly wipe my hands before cooing over your wedding photo. ❤

  5. Michelle King says:

    Moorea I love who you are! I hear you process, not complain! Thank you for sharing a realistic picture of parenting as a “green” parent!

  6. Leah says:

    Hilarious! Don’t be ashamed about being a balanced person. So many things you believe in while pregnant seem to take the back seat when real life knocks on the door. Wish I could come!

  7. Shannon says:

    I love my swiffer too, although I found a way to refill the canisters with my own cleaning solution. It involves boiling the plastic bottle, and I just use our regular cooking pots, so that’s probably going to give us cancer before the plastic toys we have do.

  8. Oh my word Mama! I pissed myself over your dildo comment. I wish so deeply that I could have made it to the PNW gathering. Even more so, the entire reason I would even want to go is to see your dildo’s drying over the fireplace of hanging on the shower rod. HA!

    None of us natural parents is perfect. I gave into temptation tonight and ate a half pound of fudge…made with sugar and all kinds of other crap I am not suppose to have. Why? Because I am human and my husband was stupid enough to bring home my favorite fudge and expect me to have self control. I had to teach him a lesson of course!

    I so wish I could come. I would love to have met you and everyone else. Next year….

    Until then…see you on Google +!

  9. Melissa says:

    I don’t know how I’m only now seeing this, but all I can say is I’m glad I’m seeing it. I had to stifle my laughs because Annabelle is sleeping. Hilarious. I was about to post my two favorite parts, but it looks like they’re the same as Dionna’s anyway.

    I think we all have our contradictory practices – I know I have quite a few myself, but we definitely do the best we can. I wish I could be there with you all and rejoice in the imperfections. I hope you’re having a fantastic time!

  10. Renee says:

    Well, I would never call myself a “natural” parent or attachment parent or anything. I’m more of a Whatever It Takes To Get By parent. I share the same illogical and ridiculous sense of guilt over having a nanny twice a week (I gave up any guilt over having someone else clean my house years ago and rationalize that it is cheaper than marriage counseling.) I failed at my one attempt to make baby food (but at least I bought the organic jarred stuff) and am rapidly losing my patience with cloth diapers. We have a lot of plastic and *gasp* battery operated toys, most of which are used and some I just couldn’t resist at Target. I am not a germaphobe but I do have a degree in public health and you better believe I get my kids vaccinated. I subscribe to the five-second rule but will not eat leftovers more than two days old. I have every sling and carrier known to man, but have never really gotten the hang of any of them, except this one time in Kauai when I fashioned a sling out of a sarong at the farmer’s market. That kinda ruled. It’s good you don’t dry your dildos by the fireplace because that would surely degrade the rubber or silicone or whatever. I am keeping an open mind about homeschooling because if my child is as obnoxious as my husband and I reportedly were as children there may be no other choice. And if you see my child breaking a rule or behaving badly and I don’t see it, please do (gently) correct her. I never want to be the parent with the bratty kid. Her precious self-esteem cam handle being told no or being put in a time out.

  11. LM says:

    Loving the photo of Iris!! And leave it to turning 30 to feeling freer to be your real self 😉 xoxoxo

  12. mudpiemama says:

    found this by way of the CARNATPAR and it made me laugh so much – in a good way – i don’t know what’s funnier, “stock in free or used” or the dildo thing – I think if more mamas would share it all like it really is we would have a much stronger supportive mama community and a lot less fear 🙂 love your style – thanks for sharing and inspiring!

  13. I wish I could have met you last weekend! We’ve all got our things that are not perfectly NP, but who cares? We’re trying and we’re not judging each other and that’s all that matters 🙂

  14. WORD. I wish we’d had a chance to actually talk at the get-together. I guess that just means we’ll have to have more!

  15. Darcel says:

    Ha! We play with plastic toys here as well. I’m glad you all had a great time. Really wishing I could’ve been there.

  16. Kelly says:

    Laughing my butt off at the idea of drying dildos by the fireplace…thanks for that image lol!

    Wish I could have been there!

  17. Pingback: The Value of Parent-to-Parent Support… Truth, Love, and Healing | Presence Parenting

  18. Pingback: Dear *Screen Name*, Are You Really My Friend? | Diary of a First Child

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s