Rare photo of Iris sleeping

Up to 10 percent of children are thought to have an undiagnosed sleep disorder. Sleep disorders range from restless legs syndrome to circadian rhythm disorders to obstructive apnea and what I’m talking about here, Central Apnea.

Central Apnea is why premature or ill babies are on apnea monitors in the hospital and it is why some babies go home with apnea monitors. The central nervous system (brain) is not well-developed or regulated and can “forget” to breathe properly during sleep. But central apnea (called Apnea of Infancy in babies) can effect a baby all the way until bout 2 years and it isn’t always preemies. Bear with me, this is about to be about co-sleeping and SIDS.

I know about central apnea because my daughter was diagnosed with it at 7 months old. We were hoping for obstructive apnea which would have been easier to fix. Iris wasn’t premature but she never slept longer than an hour at a time. As it turns out, some brains take longer to develop proper sleep-breathing regulation and it isn’t only preemies. If up to ten percent of children have an undiagnosed sleep disorder- maybe these sleep-breathing or night-waking problems so many of us have are really…kinda normal?

I thought Iris was having normal newborn behavior but as we reached 6 months of sleeping for an hour at a time, I knew something was wrong. Her apneas were usually very short but they were so frequent that her sleep study at 8months did show low blood oxygen.

From a newborn age I knew she was stopping breathing for periods of time because I was co-sleeping with her and very aware of her breathing. For months I either told myself that periodic breathing was normal or that it wasn’t happening. I told myself, “she’s just sleeping so deeply, I can’t hear or feel her.” But that was a joke, this child has never slept soundly.

There really were only a small handful of times that I thought Iris was in danger and looked grayish and that it had been more than ten seconds since I’d noticed no breathing. Those times I woke her myself if I thought she wasn’t breathing- simply by leaning close and breathing next to her face and she would gasp and start crying. So we co-slept and I breathed on her all night, and she woke constantly all night (and because of all of the waking, we had her tested for apneas.)

All young babies (and even adults) can have 15-20 second pauses between breathing while asleep. The trick is whether or not the child is able to come out of it and how quickly. Central Apnea. It is understood that the main mechanism to prevent breathing disaster is the body’s ability to wake up during one of these pauses. This is why we had a girl who woke so frequently and why we still have a child who when her breathing is already hampered by a respiratory infection might wake up to every 20 minutes.

We can read a zillion studies about a “correlation” of Apnea and SIDS and other studies which simply believed that a child with Apnea was more susceptible to SIDS. But most parents of non-preemie children with Apnea do not know the diagnosis for a very long time. Many families go through multiple life threatening events where the baby is found gray or blue in a crib without getting any medical help and so do wind up with a child on an apnea monitor. (We know this from the SIDS stories. Many parents report previous breathing issues with sleep.) And I personally worry that with children with undiagnosed central apnea who consistently sleep in a separate room might have some apnea episodes they come out of on their own that nobody notices and then eventually one fatal accident (SIDS).

Dr. Tom Keens at Children’s Hospital, Los Angeles has said on the SIDS Network:

“One THEORY about SIDS is that all babies have respiratory pauses during sleep, which can last up to 15-20 seconds. This appears to be normal. The question arises how babies ‘rescue’ themselves from these breathing pauses. One hypothesis is that waking up, or arousal from sleep, is an important defense mechanism we all have to protect us from potentially dangerous situations during sleep. The THEORY would suggest that babies have many breathing pauses. However, if they do not arouse in response to one of them, they might not be able to get out of the apnea, and this could cause death. Personally, our group has done a fair amount of research on arousal in infants, and I BELIEVE that it might be important with respect to SIDS. However, this has not been proven.”

Obviously, much more research must be done, especially on how infants “revive themselves” after apnea events. Maybe infants shouldn’t be left to revive themselves at all. There really isn’t much human baby can do for itself in any other area. When studying prone sleep position, researchers found that future SIDS victims had less arousability when sleeping. And I do know one thing: breastfeeding, co-sleeping babies are more easily roused and don’t sleep as deeply. I doubted this for a long time until I read the evidence because I feared it would prove right the non-breastfeeding, non-co-sleeping naysayers who said our baby’s sleep waking was my fault. But crib sleeping didn’t “feel” safe. And for us, as it turned out, it wasn’t.

When we talk about arousals from sleep, and prevention of apneas, we talk about carbon dioxide. Breathing in carbon dioxide (say, from a sleeping parent?) is what stimulates human breathing- our brains noticing carbon dioxide in the blood stream actually drives us to breathe. If we have a ton of oxygen, our lungs do not need to work so hard. Adult patients with old-age or heart/brain injury induced central apnea are treated with carbon dioxide! A minuscule amount of extra carbon dioxide can prevent long apnea attacks in adults and premature infants.

In autopsies from SIDS deaths, they find that breathing has stopped, but they do not find a cause. Central Apnea as sole cause of death is not something that can be found by autopsy. There is no strain With multiple medical tests including ultrasound of brain and MRI, there was nothing that showed my daughter’s brain to be different. In fact, many autopsies of SIDS victims show minute differences in the brain stem (central apnea) or respiratory system (obstructive apnea) but apnea is not ruled cause of death and is simply called “SIDS.”

Medicine is failing families by not finding cause and prevention of SIDS. What if further studies were able to say, “Co-sleeping and breastfeeding together are 99percent effective against SIDS”   SIDS would no longer be this mysterious sudden infant death, it would be a lethal combination of central apnea (something which matures over time) and sub-optimal sleep conditions. Finding out more about apneas and sleep deaths would involve sleep studies of random babies at various ages while co-sleeping and crib-sleeping and comparing many factors including vaccination schedule, .

I wish the legendary Dr. Ferber (with his Cry It Out method of sleep training) at his sleep institute would concentrate his work and funding on something important like this, something that would save lives instead of injure brains. Fortunately, Dr. Rob McKenna is doing some great work and I hope central apnea will factor into his work in the future. There needs to be a study like this one on co-sleeping and arousability.

I guess I just don’t believe in a mysterious thing that kills babies with no cause. I want to trust that by either evolution or creation, our otherwise healthy babies are born to breathe and live. It seems that the more frequent waking and nursing that co-sleeping babies do might be actually adaptive, rather than maladaptive.

Should newborn babies be tested for apnea in order to prevent some cases of SIDS? Hmm, maybe. Should families be encouraged to co-sleep and breastfeed because it does literally prevent SIDS (SIDS is by definition a “crib death”) ?  I say: Yes.

Long ago, I posted this article on our first “sleep training” process which was not the typical sleep training at all but more of a gentle night-weaning. This is my update, and some tips. I have since taken on clients in my Parent Coaching Practice who want gentle steps toward better sleep. I tell them its not easy and it doesn’t happen in three days.  I tell them there will be some crying but that they shouldn’t ever leave a crying baby alone. I tell them NO FALLING ASLEEP ON THE BOOB!  Well, not after 12 months anyway, if you are trying to change your child’s sleep habits. 

For 16 years as a nanny and infant nanny and then postpartum doula, I taught other people’s children how to sleep. I did what the parents asked. Sleep training either worked or didn’t work depending on if the method worked with the parent’s emotions and the child’s personality. I learned what I would never do. I learned I could never let my own child Cry It Out.

Things for us are not perfect since starting the process of gentle sleep learning months ago. My daughter still has a sleep disorder which makes her wake up every hour at the point in her sleep cycle where other people usually can fall into REM instead of waking fully. My family is full of sleep disorder and my own sleep has always been *expletive*.

Eventually, it was apparent that I needed to try and teach her how to fall back asleep with less and less help from me for the sake her heath and for mine. But it was very emotionally complicated to do any sort of sleep modification with a child I knew had a medical disorder and really couldn’t help it.

As happens to all families and with any method, there is some backward movement for us with respiratory illness because I do not want extra snot to accumulate with crying

But on good nights, Iris nurses one time as opposed to back when it was hourly or more. I stopped letting her fall asleep on the boob ever, for good sleep associations and not just pulling off after she was almost asleep- I had to teach her how to fall asleep with me there but on her own and it wasn’t easy. It also wasn’t as hard to listen to as Cry It Out would have been (with me not in the room). There was a little crying and a little thrashing around but I was there with her comforting with voice and a pat on the back. No boob in bed, sleep got a little bit better.

Then, I had to stop feeding her every time she woke up.  That was really hard. I went with only feeding her after 3 hour increments even if she woke every hour and worked toward 4. There was crying, a bit of thrashing around. I was there, modeling sleep myself because it was sleepy time. Sleep got even a little better. (And it tends to really help with the night wakings for my clients even more than it has for us, likely because of the apnea. Sigh.)

Now on bad nights she nurses twice in a chair. On good nights she nurses once. She still wakes frequently to gasp for a breath or after a huge snore because of her sleep disorder but now she is capable of finding my head and touching it and falling right back asleep. My sleep is still not optimal but we do feel she is very slowly in a turtle-esque way growing out of her sleep disorder like the doctors suggested. I could have just let her nurse every hour until I went insane. Or I could have done Cry it Out until we all went insane. Instead, I made slow and gentle modifications and I admit to myself that the attachment parenting route I have taken means that I put myself and my sleep on a lesser priority until Iris grows into an older and easier human. Some nursing babies wake more frequently, it is part of our biology and anthropology to check in with one another at night and night nursing keeps us doing that.

Tips for Gentle Sleep Learning from Me, the non sleep-trainer: *for co-sleeping parents*

1) Perfect your schedule for optimal. Are you on the right amount of naps for the right amount of time? Yep, unlike some other natural parents, I’m very pro-schedule for the sake of sanity and good sleep. I don’t believe in migrating bedtimes or “child-led bedtimes” or carting your child everywhere and sometimes not allowing for any naps.

2) Is your child going to bed too late for optimal sleep? All of the sleep books say this. This is probably the only thing they are all right about. It is scientific and biological and about circadian rhythms and the planet and being an animal and we adults should go to be earlier too. Your baby/toddler is going to bed after 7pm? Bad idea.

3) Only falling asleep on the boob? Work on that. Are there periods of time (like the morning) where there is total attachment to the boob and it is hampering your own sleep. Work on that. Cover them up, even. (The only time I’d ever suggest you cover up your boobs

4) Do you have a nighttime ritual with books and low lights and calmness? Have you tried turning a sound machine on at the beginning of bedtime for the sleep-association of the sound?

5) Did your child have a before-bedtime snack. Something like a whole grain carb and a protein but not sugary. Hummus and crackers.

6) Can your child fall asleep again in the middle of the night by just noticing that you are there or does he always need the breast/to be walked/to be rocked.?  Try working on that.

7) Are you nursing on demand all day like every 20-30 minutes or every hour? Nursing on demand is ideal for babies. But remember that your nursling might not know how to sleep for hours at a time without nursing if she cannot do it during the day.

Sleep Training in (a supposed) 3 nights with a screaming baby alone in a room is torture. Studies have shown that it can cause brian damage and lifelong emotional problems. It isn’t easy and it does leave many parents with lifelong feelings of guilt. Gradual and Gentle sleep learning methods like what I have done and what I teach can also feel like torture for many nights. I won’t lie. But there is nothing wrong with an older baby/toddler crying because they are tired and not getting exactly what they want- with you there for re-assurance. In fact, studies have shown that a child who cries with a loving parent present does not experience the same negative effects a child left alone to cry does. More on cortisol levels, sleep  and crying here: http://www.kangaroomothercare.com/1new-page.aspx

Giving in to constant night-nursing just works for some moms who can sleep through it! Bless them. Damn them! But if giving in to night nursing when a child cries for it doesn’t solve your sleep problems or doesn’t help you and the child sleep for live-able time chunks, it is time to change something. And I am the first to tell you any change sucks until it doesn’t.

And turtles…turtles can sleep under water, but not for long periods of time and not very soundly and there are predators. They must come up for air. Parental Presence is like air to babies.

Mary Cassatt

Why on earth would you have a doctor who does not agree with your own researched views of child health and behavior? (Just in case? Well read on for some alternatives to traditional pediatric care, just in case..)

1) Sleep. For sleep issues, Cry It Out is all most of them know (when there are countless fixes to try that would take to long to go into in a 15 min visit- I guess all the better for parent coaches like me?). They believe babies should learn to sleep through the night as early as possible (without any medical evidence and against all biological and anthropological evidence to the contrary. Don’t want to cry it out? They’ll tell you to night wean because breastfeeding is the cause of bad sleep. (But what about all of those formula-fed kids who wake up at night?…) Not to even mention the problems with recommending all children sleep in cribs.  The American Academy of Pediatrics has a policy against co-sleeping but they also believe that no matter the age, you should not immediately attend to your woken baby’s cries or pick her up. 

2) Formula. They are paid to push formula. The American Academy of Pediatrics receives gigantic donations from formula companies (in the millions every year though they have a policy against detailed disclosure) and have a history of allowing formula companies to lobby them away from measures which would further increase breastfeeding in the U.S. The AAP conferences are funded by formula vendors.

Peds are inundated with samples and rep visits from formula companies so that formula is always on the brain. When it’s always on the brain, it becomes a pretty easy answer to a bunch of medical and behavior problems. And don’t expect a pediatrician to actually help you with breast pain, latch or other nursing issues, they aren’t trained in that. 27 percent of pediatricians offices report that their staff has no specific training in breastfeeding. You are very lucky if they have a lactation consultant on board.

To quote the above-linked article from Mothering Magazine:

“The mission statement of the AAP is ‘to attain optimal physical, mental and social health and wellbeing for all infants, children, adolescents and young adults.’ While I’m sure this is true of many well- intentioned and courageous members of the AAP, the organization as a whole has traded optimal health for infants for political position and financial gain. The group has done good work over the years, but ties to government and industry as well as constant funding needs inevitably compromise its mission.”

Fortunately in the U.S., it is illegal for formula reps to directly pay individual pediatricians. Here-gifts, meals, office supplies, vacations and a year of free formula to a family member are legal and of course, samples for your newly born patients. 70 percent of doctors report recommending a favorite brand.

3) The CDC growth chart. It they know anything, they should know that the CDC itself recommends pediatricians use the World Health Organization growth charts for breastfeeding babies and toddlers instead of the CDC charts. Still, most pediatricians use the old CDC chart for breastfed and Formula fed children, regardless of the fact that there is a big difference. Formula has led to an epidemic in infantile obesity, throwing the charts askew for many decades. Using the CDC chart makes pediatricians see a breastfed baby’s growth as abnormal- leading to usage of formula supplementation and cause for alarm and medical testing to find a physiological or neurological illness causing the lack of growth.

4) Vaccine Pushing. One of the main jobs of a pediatrician is to push a certain vaccine schedule – for a few reasons. One reason is the theory that it will protect babies and the population. Another reason is all of those “well baby” visits add up to great profit. Another reason is that HMOs pay pediatricians bonuses if they have a fully vaccinated practice (leading many to turn away patients who do not conform.) This is one of the things that makes pediatricians different from all others- they are in charge of vaccinating America on schedule.  But pediatricians often don’t know as much about vaccines as well-researched parents do, or if they do, they probably lie about it. I went to an appointment with a mom I nannied for once. Before shots, the mom asked, “are there any possible side-effects or dangers?”  the Ped said, “No.”  We had a feverish screaming baby for three days who did not want to eat. The doctor said it must be a cold. A week later there were some random seizures. “Febrile seizures” he said, but there was not a fever at the time.  There was obviously no vaccine reaction reported.

I’m not saying all vaccines are bad, but I once sat in a room full of pediatrics med students and professors at the University of Washington on a panel explaining my selective vaccination schedule. I asked why it was beneficial for babies to get so many shots so early in life. A professor replied, “It really isn’t. There is not really that much benefit to the baby. Most things could probably wait until 2 for most vaccines. It’s mostly so that we can get them all vaccinated before we lose them from the practice.”  But what if it actually hurts tiny babies to be injected with so much aluminum and thimerisol? We don’t really know because of the lack of quality reporting to the CDC by pediatricians.

5) Overuse of Antibiotics. Lets say a parent’s child has had a virus for three weeks and wants it over with. They ask a pediatrician for antibiotics. Though antibiotics won’t help with this common flu virus, the doctor gives in anyway.   The side-effects of antibiotics can be diarrhea, a mild allergic reaction like hives or a life-threatening emergency (like I had as a toddler).  The overuse of antibiotics causes bacteria to mutate into resistant strains which make the disease more difficult to shake for everyone and very dangerous for the very ill.  The last article cited a doctor who believes we will have to inoculate children with the good bacterial flora our human bodies have lost over time due to widespread usage of antibiotics. Children’s own immune systems are changed by the antibiotic, there is often overgrowth of bad bacteria leading to other infections in the body and on the skin leading to the need for more pharmaceuticals. And getting antibiotics for an ear infection may lead to increased risk for getting another ear infection. (A naturopath can cure it with garlic oil.)

6) Clogged Waiting Rooms. All of those well-baby visits scheduled in advance mean that practices are full all of the time and patients who have pressing health concerns cannot get in to see a doctor when sick or may go months without care while they wait on a list.  Preventative medicine is a good thing and this includes the family taking care of baby’s health at home. But why does a healthy, thriving baby need to go to all of those scheduled appointments..every month or three?  Vaccines, I guess. The low-income pediatric clinic by my house tries its best to see every patient they can, but they still have to send sick babies to the hospital for mild conditions sometimes. If you don’t have a pediatrician yet or if you have left yours, you will be paying big bucks at the children’s hospital clinic.

When Iris was going to be born, I didn’t think we needed a pediatrician. She was a growing and happy baby before the sleep  issues became truly apparent at around 6 months. The weight-gain issues then became apparent at around 11 months. So by that time, I was searching like mad for a Pediatrician. I mostly couldn’t get in because as you know, you are supposed to find and stick to one pediatrician before your child is even born. The waiting lists for the recommended Peds here in settle were three to nine months long and it didn’t matter that we had actual pressing health issues to discuss.

For months we had been occasionally seen at the low-income clinic by the house but never seeing the same doc and usually seeing a resident and never getting any real help- and mostly worked with specialists. The sleep doctor and the neurologist.

I asked the receptionist which Peds clinic which doctor, if not the ones recommended by friends, could see us quickly. We made an appointment for a month out with a young Pediatrician. In the meantime, I found out that she was being sued by multiple families over bad advice that caused irrevocable damage. (The issue was actually ignoring the evidence parents were bringing to the table.) So I cancelled my appt. About a week later, after seeing my daughter’s neurologist in that same office, our wonderful neurologist got us in to see one of the good pediatricians immediately. Phew. Or so I thought.

The new doctor walked in and announced she knew we were there to find out what was causing our daughter’s diagnosed sleep disorder. “You aren’t going to like this” she said looking at my “Whip It Out: I Support Breastfeeding” shirt. “But I believe she will suddenly gain weight and start sleeping through the night if you just stop breastfeeding.” She was right. I hated her already. She didn’t go on to ask how much table foods Iris was eating. I offered up, “meals like that of a child three times her size.”

This new doctor also wanted to talk to us about Iris’s recent pee test. The pee test was for metabolic disorders but she was worried by a slight margin of numbers that Iris might have a urinary tract infection and probably needed antibiotics so we needed to re-test her pee. I said she didn’t have a fever and her pees were fine.  I said she was already potty trained very early and could likely pee in a container.   “You should potty train my son” she said. “I can’t potty train him because he has an inverted penis and splashes standing up.” (How stupid is this woman?) They weren’t going to wait for pee, so they said we had to catheterize her. They made me hold her down screaming while they hurt her. It took a few jabs before it went in.

I noticed formula sample bags everywhere on my way out. The test came back negative for UTI and that is the mommy decision I regret most of all so far.

Just curious, I immediately asked four friends who had weaned. “He lost weight.” said each one of them. Two of them said , “And then we went back to the pediatrician to see about helping him gain weight.” and then one of them said, “They put him on a special toddler formula.”

So, I should stop breastfeeding so that I can buy the formula that the doctor gets paid to push. I am pretty sure that is how it would have gone, had I not cancelled my follow-up appointment with that doc. This was just one of my 5 bad experiences with taking Iris to a pediatrician. Not to mention all I have seen and heard over the years working with families in LA and Seattle.

I’m not getting in bed with any pediatricians who sleep with the AAP which sleeps these companies:  vaccine manufacturers, other major pharmaceutical corporations, Lysol, Procter and Gamble, Johnson and Johnson (all known AAP donors). We know the negative effect on health that pharmaceutical company lobbying of doctors to push adult drugs has had. It isn’t any different in Pediatrics.

How do we survive without a Pediatrician? Our naturopathic pediatrician‘s office can prescribe meds or antibiotics after we have tried natural remedies. They have vaccines, if you ask for them. We see a specialist if needed. We have a family medicine MD who can help me think through certain things and look at a bigger picture. She isn’t as targeted formula companies or vaccine reps. In an emergency, we go to a clinic or the emergency room. Can ya dig it? Life without trying to find the right pediatrician is awesome.

This week marks the 1 year anniversary of the release of Whip It Out:Songs for Breastfeeding

The love-labor of this CD (recording-wise) lasted 6 days- about how long my labor with my daughter took! That’s her there, with the face!

In celebration of this birthday, I am giving away 20 CDs. Yes, that’s FREE. So is the shipping. USA only.

First come, first served.

Listen see the song names and to listen to samples, go here: CDBaby

I’ll need you to:

1) Comment here (but do not post your address here). I don’t care what you say, but I want a record here that you will receive a CD so that I can find your email.

2) Send your name and snail mail address to my alternate “spam-ish” email address: mooreamalatt@hotmail.com

3) Send this link on email to your breastfeeding friends, to your midwife friends, your doula friends. Or Twitter or Facebook post the link to this entry.

I will send you a copy (or your friend or family member or your lactation consultant ;0)

Happy New Year!

Moorea

twitter= @whipitoutsongs

click the Facebook link on this page!

regardless of which holiday you celebrate.

Virtue=Moral Excellence, Goodness, Righteousness.

But I particularly like the word “Goodness”.

There is a much different connotation to Goodness than to morality which seems rather religious in a forceful way.

Quite obviously my sense of virtue is not governed by “What the Bible Says”, and so is not the same as the virtue some conservative Chrisitians would teach their children. For instance, I obviously believe that a family comprised of two same-sex parents can be a good and virtuous.

I believe in goodness is respect for all creatures, kindness to others, being gentle to the earth, and generally wanting to be our best selves. Those are the things I want to teach my child and those are also what I strive to help with as I am Life Coach for adults and a Parent Coach. I feel it is my duty to help people become their best selves-whatever goodness that looks like to them.

I was raised in a family where we didn’t strive to better ourselves. We were who we were and we were fine. We didn’t strive to care for the earth. We didn’t strive to be particularly kind, though we weren’t unkind. We didn’t strive to learn new things as a family. We didn’t strive to help the needy. We didn’t strive to fix our shortcomings. We didn’t strive to commune with or hear the messages of nature or of any God.

I had wonderful and loving parents who cared for me well and loved me deeply but I was longing for all of those things and I set about on a long and relentless mission to find my own sense of virtue and goodness and I thought that meant choosing the one right religion for me. But as it turns out, Virtue isn’t particularly religious and maybe not even always all that spiritual. Plenty of atheists know and do what is right. It is inherent in the human heart (though sometimes hidden by neglect or abuse).

Something from Judaism:  Its a Mitzvah! A Mitzvah is a blessed action/ a good deed. Jews strive to observe as many mitzvot (plural) as possible in a day. My favorites are Lifelong Education, Tzedakah box (giving to charity daily!), Treating all books with respect, caring for animals, visiting the elderly or sick, sharing food with those less fortunate. Oh Hanukah celebrating miracles, light, gratefulness, perseverance and rebuilding. Mmm, so Good. Happy Hanukkah!

Something from Paganism: Reverence for the planet. For the living animals and humans and trees! Specifically the Oak (Mistletoe) and  apple trees (the ritual of Wassailing, to bring fertility) On Solstice/Yule? We Rest. On the shortest day of the year with the longest dark, people rest and then light candles and fires and meditate on light to re-welcome the sun. In some places like Nova Scotia, Solstice is also Children’s day, where you pay attention to and revere the children. The other pagan of Wassailing a this time of year is house Wassailing which started the newer tradition of caroling. Going to someone’s doorstep and singing?  Such Goodness. 

From Buddhism:  The 8-fold Path- Mindful Steps to Happiness always come up in parenting and family for me. Some of my favorites for teaching are Right/Skillful Speech (refraining from idle chatter, gossip, mean stuff!) and Right Livelihood (are we able to explain to our children how our work benefits the world and is kind work?). How can we be goodness in every moment by living rightly? Skillfull Meditation is another one. Slow down and pay attention.

Something from Christianity: The teachings of Christ to not judge others, to instead judge yourself and Love others as you would yourself. To forgive yourself and others. No matter the sin, we are good underneath. Many branches of Christianity do a terrible job of these, but I ignore them and look at the original message. And on Christmas, regardless of whether Christ was actually born on that day, I believe should be a time to celebrate, follow and model such teachings.

Combined, these are the things I look forward to focusing on during the holiday season as opposed to a focus on gifts. Iris is too little to get most of it now but I am doing my best to get into the swing of it. This is the first year that I have been able to give small amounts to two charities of my own business budget: An Orphanage in South America and Women with HIV/AIDS in Seattle (BABES), plus I am committed to a new volunteer position at Human Milk for Human Babies WA on Facebook.

I’ll be leaving my computer at home when visiting family for a week. I’ll be setting down my iPhone. I’ll be meditating on my family, like a Buddha.

I am trying imperfectly to set down and do personal inquiry into my many unChrist-like judgements about other people this season (the way they do the holidays, the way they consume, the way they parent. My mind can go to a really judgmental place and I don’t want to be there) and instead, just live inside the spirit of goodness.

What do you think? Is goodness, virtue or rightness subjective? Or is it concrete? Is it kindness or justice? What is goodness to you, in regard to your own spirituality?

Wool Dryer Balls

My last post was about giving your presence instead of presents, but what if you can’t be physically be present? Whether you can or can’t be present and haven’t done your holiday shopping yet-Never fear!  You can still do it while sitting in your pajamas. You can get it (0r get it there)  by the first day or Chanukah, by Solstice and definitely by Christmas. Here are my suggestions to help you avoid the draw of evil Amazon.com and other corporate entities. Parent-owned small businesses.

1) Anktangle Creations at Etsy. We own many pairs of these baby leggings that are more awesome than the famed “baby legs” in incredible styles and they don’t cut off circulation! But what we all seriously need is one of these Earthy Wool Dryer Balls fluff, separate and remove static from our clothes without chemical softeners! Or a roll-up hand crocheted tic tac toe game for a preschooler- so sweet!

2) Got a musician who is special to you? Or somebody really Rustic? How about a custom or ready-made leather guitar strap form Moxie and Oliver?! Yeehaw! How bout this Peacock Feather One! That would surely be a Happy Hannukah to me!   Or leather x-mas stockings that get better every year? Or to really splurge on yourself, the handbag nobody else will have: Peacock Tote.  Your partner a sweet combo of masculine and tech-savvy? How about this amazing Anchor IPad Case?  

3) Seriously Amazing Jewlery made from old silver-wear. Made by a dad I know at his Etsy shoppe called Silverwears. This Fab Fork Bracelet is the kind that can bend and fit any wrist! Or affordable Iced Tea Spoon Earrings for the vintage gal.

4.) Serious Puzzles.com  For your mother or father in law or an older child. My favorite, Bird House Haven. OR this seriously difficult Josephine Wall Bluebird

Yeah, so I picked out what I like, but there is plenty of other stuff to look at! Spend some time on these sites.

Don’t forget to make sure you choose the right shipping option to have it arrive on time.

Didn’t do it for you? Quick, look up your local craft fair!

And hey, if you know me, don’t think you are getting anything this good from me. Everyone is getting kale chips and homemade play doh because i’m cheap

Happy Solchristmukah

This post was written for inclusion in the Mindful Mama Carnival hosted by Becoming Crunchy and TouchstoneZ. This month our participants
have shared how they stay mindful during the holiday season. Please read to
the end to find a list of links to the other carnival
participants.

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What if we gave the children in our family our presence instead of presents? We will fly across the country this Christmas to be with beloved family members who have very different parenting philosophies. My tiny daughter will likely be exposed to more sugar, TV, videos, battery-powered toys, battery-powered games and cow dairy than she has ever encountered.  And so it is for most normal families during the holidays. But we aren’t normal. We’re crunchy. We’re different.

I try to live by the Buddhist principle of “The Middle Way” in my parenting. Not too strict, but firm.Not too permissive, but fun and open.Letting some things go. Letting up on some of my crunchy ideals occasionally. And letting go is one half of what will help me to relax around the holidays with family. The other half  of the puzzle is bringing the gift of natural play. 

Some of my mama friends over at Natural Parents Network answered my cry for holiday play help with this very idea. I took it and ran. I got excited about spending time with my niece and nephews and having a way to engage my own child away from TV and sugar. We are bringing the children small handmade gifts from mom and pop businesses online, but I wondered how that could compare to handheld games most kids are asking for, chocolate and battery operated wheels? I want to bring something more personal…. I’ll hope be bringing learning, exploration and connection!  I don’t get to see my niece and nephews much. 

I hope to connect through these various activities packed in my suitcase:

Making Finger Puppets:various odds and ends to glue onto already hand-sewn cloth finger puppets. Ribbons, google eyes, pompoms, strings, patterned cloth squares. Because I have this stuff around, it costs me nothing. Then, we will put on a finger puppet show for the adults! Since these kids are young, it is sure to be wacky! Free.

Simple Holiday Painting. I will paint examples of snow people, menorah, dreidel and Christmas Tree. I will see what they choose to paint!. I will bring simple cut-out construction paper trees and menorahs for the smaller ones to decorate. I got the amazing Glob paint (which happens to come in small packets for easy traveling!).  It comes from a small company and I bought it from a locally run children’s store. These paints are all natural, edible, smell amazing and wash out of clothing. $15 with paint to spare.

Journey to the Moon Game: a HABA game from Germany. Simple matching game of beautifully painted interlocking crescent moons and little elfin Sandman place markers. Something I can help four children all play together.

Holiday Yoga:  Menorah (stand very tall on one leg with arms straight out and four fingers up on each hand. Christmas Tree: arms start as shown but move slowly from prayer to stretched out to reaching straight up and back down to prayer- all while trying to keep balance!  Of course you can try to be a dreidel and a candy cane too along with all of the regular poses with animal names and sounds. Cat/Cow, Pigeon, Cobra.(Look out for my Kundalini Yoga for Kids post coming up late January on NPN.)

SnowPeople, Igloos, Snow Castles! Only if we’re lucky! We can bring back out Summer’s pails and shovels!  I hope to build a little igloo or castles. The size of a dollhouse, with a door that little trucks can go through. Decorate with sticks and rocks.

My other inspiration for natural play as a gift to ourselves and our children was the Hands on Play Challenge. In November, we did the Challenge. 15 minutes of mindful play with a new activity or art idea every day brought to us by The Imagination Tree and Hands On As We Grow. Well, It was amazing. We are letting other people get gifts for our daughter this year. Instead, my gift to her is to continue the play challenge and play with her mindfully every day of December.

As I have been saying in all of my parenting workshops and to my clients: spending a mindful half-hour with your children without cell phones, Tv or computers helps build connection, avoid behavior challenges and assuage your guilt about the times when you can’t be as present. 2 hours is my personal ideal, together or broken up. For older children, you can ask them what they want to do and follow their lead. For younger children, it is great to start with an activity and then see where the children take it. When they move on…go along and play along with them instead of trying to keep them engaged.

We are the best gift we can give our child, and all of the children we know!

Happy Holidays!

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Visit The Mindful Mama Homepage to find out how you can participate in the next Mindful Mama Carnival!

On Carnival day, please follow along on Twitter using the handy #MindMaCar hashtag. You can also subscribe to the Mindful Mama Twitter List and Mindful Mama Participant Feed.
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• Enjoying Busy Times Moment by Moment Amy at Peace 4 Parents offers a handful of simple pointers to make the most of any busy season in your life.
• Staying A Mindful Mama During The Holiday Season Terri at Eco-Crazy Mom shares her thoughts on being a mindful mama, while keeping your sanity throughout the holiday season..
• Holiday Parenting: The Gift of Natural Play Moorea at MamaLady shares her holiday plan for mindfully spending time with children in her extended family.
• The ABC’s of Mindful Parenting Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama provides a comprehensive list of Mindful Parenting Resultions for 2012. In addition, she briefly reviews her mindful parenting journey for this past year.
• The 123′s of Mindful Parenting Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares part 3 of her Mindful Parenting series (Link will be live tomorrow, Dec 14).
• Mindful Mama Guest Post from Hybrid Rasta Mama Zoie at TouchstoneZ is honored to share Part 2 of Jennifer’s series on staying Mindful for the Holidays.
• Saying No to Plastic Toys Nada at minimomist and her husband Michael, have certain rules when it comes to toys for their daughter Naomi. Here’s how they deal with well-meaning gifts that don’t quite work for their family.
• Can you LOVE WHAT IS at Christmas? with so many expectations and no many people’s needs to accomodate, Patti at Jazzy Mama has decided to simply accept what can’t be changed and love whatever happens.
• Minimal Temptation, Minimal Gifting Adrienne at Mommying My Way shares how not exposing herself to tempting purchases, as well as having fun family traditions, helps keep her Christmas list under control.
• Choice And Consequence In Conscious Mindfulness Luschka at Diary of a First Child shares her realisation that consciously monitoring our thoughts have a powerful effect on our lives, regardless of circumstances or influences.
• A Light in the Darkness Sylvia at MaMammalia writes about overcoming holiday blues through the miracle of motherhood.
• Nature-Inspired Christmas Tree Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling describes how she and her children discovered the beauty and simplicity of a nature-inspired holiday tree.
• Giving The Gift of Life Free Range Mama at My Healthy Green Family shares about teaching children how to look beyond the well-wrapped box and learn how to give. .
• Can a collection of moments be more than the whole? Tat at Mum in search asks how do you turn a holiday from hell into a series of beautiful moments?
• Flying Through the Holidays Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction discusses how a simple organizational plan has kept her holidays balanced.
• Celebrating Advent week to week Lauren at Hobo Mama finds that counting down weeks instead of days helps children with the long wait.
• 5 Ways to Stay Mindful This Holiday Season Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares ideas and photos that help her stay mindful throughout the holidays.
• Simplifying the Holidays Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children shares how simplifying the holidays has made them more special for her.
• Mindfully Managing the Mania Erica at ChildOrganics fights against “the gimmes” and shares strategies for staying balanced during a time of year when it’s easy to overindulge.
• Six Ways to Enjoy the Holidays Without Losing Your Mindfulness Rachael at The Variegated Life shares tips on thinking less, planning less, doing less, and remembering.
• The Gift of Presence Darcel at The Mahogany Way explains how important it is to be present for and with her family during the Holidays.
• Mindfully meditating on celebrations Dionna at Code Name: Mama hosts this guest post from Child of the Nature Isle about desiring meaningful celebrations for the whole year.
• What Does It Really Mean? Staying Mindful Through the Holiday Season Kelly at Becoming Crunchy talks about how she stays in touch with what the holiday season means for her and her family, in spite of all the temptations to do otherwise!

Because I am a fully fledged life-long member of the queer party, I get to say it: there is rampant misogyny in the gay male community. Of course, this woman-hating includes moms. So I am not surprised by this article that asks, “Is there anything worse than a mommy blogger?”  I am only barely annoyed.

Apparently, yes. There must be worse things. Because I am a mommy blogger and half of the people subscribed to my feed are not parents, some of them are even gay men. 

Yes, it is essentialist (to use the academic term) to lump bigoted mommy bloggers with the rest of us. But I’m actually here to defend this guy. It would be easy to be all P.C. and not also look at this as someone who was trying to be funny as a way to introduce his point. But I’m a funny person. In my old gig, I wrote comedic cabaret. Sometimes, I even love offensive stand-up comedians!  When people laugh at me for being a mommy blogger, I am laughing with them.

I can actually see why that is a funny question to ask, why some people would think mommy bloggers are awful, when all grouped together! I can even laugh at it! It might even be said that there are three main types of mommy bloggers: Ones who strive to educate, tittilate, debate and better the world for their children, Conservative Religious Freaks Raising The Army of God, and Moms who mainly post craft projects and pictures of the kids. I hope to belong to the first and the third. I hate to be in a group with the second, but I am sure I even have some things in common with those mamas.

And still, I forgive Gay Male Blogger because his point was not actually trying to engage mommy bloggers or educate them. He was trying to be both funny and incendiary. Most likely wanted a fun little fight, which he deservedly got in a few places including PHDinParenting, (where I happen to have an ad for my CD up at now!) which was also a very fun read for me even though I wasn’t personally offended as a mama blogger. I can see how there is misogyny in this and how he probably needs an education on mommy bloggers.

I just feel he was trying to get a laugh and make fun of a particularly annoying person by inflating the idea that she is a mommy blogger.

But as for the mom who wrote the article Gay Male Blogger is bitching about? It was an article about not wanting to explain a gay billboard to her 9-year-old son. Somehow despite herself she has managed to paint herself as a bigot even though she desperately wants to not be. It happens every day. Unlike my forgiving of Gay Male Blogger, I cannot forgive her as easily. Still, instead of stereotyping her, I’ll take her on as one woman, not as a “mommy blogger”:

1) She lacks creativity. Any mom who works hard and mindfully at parenting could quickly find an appropriate response for a child who asks why two topless men in dog tags are leaning in toward one another. The bigots can lie about it, say, “Those army guys just got done with a workout and are whispering about the pretty ladies in the gym.”  The gay-friendly can simply say, “That’s for a place where men who love men can meet each other.” Or you can be creatively ambiguous, “That’s an ad for a place where guys who want to meet other guys to go.” If you were a queer family or one with multiple queer friends, your child may ignore the billboard already knowing that all sorts of people get close to one another, and obviously having seen this sort of ad applied to straight people before.

2) This lady lives in L.A. Being from there I know the particular strip of Cahuenga she is talking about and there is a lot of dirty advertising going on. This homophobic mama (who very well may be a liberal feminist, particularly the sex-phobic kind I abhor) was particularly offended because it was gay. And she is terrified her son will become gay by looking at ads of gay army men, since he wants to be an army man when he grows up. Period.

3) You shouldn’t have to explain the same ad to your 9-year-old every time you drive by it. Most nine year-olds are satisfied to remember one good explanation. If he asks each time, he either knows you are lying, leaving something out, or….he already finds it titillating. Not because it is a horrible billboard, but maybe because he already gay inside.    In any case, your communication skills leave much to be desired. This isn’t about billboards. This is about the fact that your are so uncomfortable about that fact that your son could be gay and that you are also unwilling to talk about the facts of (gay) life. But, billboards don’t make people gay.

Wow. You managed to get those billboards taken down but you didn’t manage to take down billboards that objectify women because those weren’t the billboards you were really concerned about. You are not a feminist at all. You are just a homophobe.

I’ll tell you, Gay Male Blogger, what is worse than a mommy blogger? A Lesbian Mommy Blogger! Muahahahahaha! Can you spread that one around on Gawker.com? I’d like the exposure!

Gentle Discipline for the Preschool Age- A Workshop

When? Saturday December 10th 3-5pm

Where? @ the Madrona (Seattle) Home of Moorea Malatt 

Owner of Metamorphosis Parent Coaching

How Much?  $15/person.

Who? For parents and caregivers of the 2-4 year set! 

Tantrums, excessive energy, aggression, meltdowns, attention-seeking behavior, noncompliance, excessive energy, running away, disagreeable, “not listening”, separation anxiety, shyness, having a hard time at preschool? We will workshop each of your discipline questions and challenges and learn from one another as a community. How do we say No less (and mean it) and say Yes more while building a stronger bond with our children? Yes, there are ways to connect with our children that actually prevent power struggles and discipline challenges! Gentle discipline is simply a psychologically sound middle path between permisiveness and authoritative parenting.

Contrary to popular belief, there aren’t only four styles of parenting and each child is an individual who has specific needs. As your workshop leader, I come at discipline from an intuitive approach. Each parent has their own individual style but there are ways to ensure your way is supportive, gentle and effective. Most of us notice a tendency to discipline more or less than we wish we did and this workshop will help you focus on your strengths and change what you don’t like. We sill discuss the differences between Gentle Discipline and Positive Discipline, reasoning versus playfulness. We also will discuss some studies on discipline and a comparison of literature.

Excellent and Qualified childcare provided in our playroom for $10. Art project and snack.

I have 14 years experience working with and gently disciplining children as preschool teacher, camp counselor, spiritual leader, nanny and now as a mother. I also have 6 years of experience coaching creative people, parents and nannies. So that I can give attention to each participant, space is limited so please sign up early. I offer a money-back satisfaction guarantee of all of my workshops and coaching services! Contact moorea malatt hicks at gmail dot com

This post was written for inclusion in the Safe Cosleeping Blog Carnival hosted by Monkey Butt Junction . Our bloggers have written on so many different aspects of cosleeping. Please read to
the end to find a list of links to the other carnival
participants.

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These days there is a lot of fighting between governments/pediatrics and people who are doing the actual parenting (mothers who have instincts and see what works for their own families). War has broken out in the sleep arena, it is getting more intense every day, the news is all over it, and I am thrilled. Why? Because the actual benefits of breastfeeding and co-sleeping are being unearthed and made known. The statistics about co-sleeping deaths versus crib-sleeping SIDS deaths are being made known also. Mothers everywhere are speaking out on television, on blogs, and to other mothers about a wonderful “dirty little secret” called c0-sleeping. Right now, the spotlight is on Milwaukee. Here is some decent news coverage from Milwaukee which takes race and class into account in terms of pointing out that it is African American families that are affected by infant sleeping deaths, and that there is often nicotine or other substances in the house and that the  babies are formula fed-  but the newscast fails to make any helpful conclusion or call to action. What a shame. I guess I will do it.

We are sure to see more anti-co-sleeping campaigns pop up all over the states as a U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission is launching   campaign against co-sleeping paid for by Juvenile Products Manufacturer’s Association (crib manufacturers, that’s right!).

Sure, I am upset about this outrageous ad from the city of Milwaukee, Wisconsin:

But I am more worried about the effects of this one:

- The infant death statistics can be read so that risk factors for co-sleeping deaths are formula feeding, being African-American of course drugs, alcohol or nicotine use in the home and obesity. Because it seems the health department has noticed the race statistics on co-sleeping deaths in Milwaukee, they can target specific vulnerable population of mothers with this propaganda. Propaganda which is, I’ll say it: so black and white, that it is actually a lie.   Because as PhDinParenting so astutely suggests, it is more dangerous to drive with your child in the car in a safe car seat than it is to co-sleep.

We parents who know how to co-sleep safely are offended by this sort of ad and seem to wish that breastfeeding, co-sleeping families would stop being vilified in this way. But what about parents who aren’t breastfeeding or don’t know how to safely co-sleep? How will they be reached ?  Can you imagine an ad that says “Don’t sleep with your baby if you are black, drink alcohol or are fat?”  And we can’t just give up the fight to try to save all babies from sleeping deaths just because co-sleeping parents are offended. A whole new level of thoughtfulness about public education and race and class is needed and it is too complicated to be handled with simple propaganda.

What’s more?  The above two ads aren’t shown together.  I am worried that a stand-alone picture of a black baby in a parent bed with a knife is promoting racism and stereotypes in a country where the white racist supremacist beliefs include that African Americans are second-rate parents and that African-American homes are violent places. If babies are dying, we cannot hold only parents responsible.  Race is not a “risk factor” for anything. Infant sleeping deaths in the black community are just another example of healthcare inequality.

Why is our government using scare propaganda in an expensive campaign to dictate what people shouldn’t do rather than putting money into actually educating people about safe co-sleeping and making breastfeeding support and education more affordable and more available in these communities?  If African-American communities have had low breastfeeding rates for decades, it makes sense that maybe there aren’t too many grandmothers able to help out in that department.

I consider this blatant racism because if we actually cared about the well-being of black children in America, we would be actively making sure that their mothers had breastfeeding support and better education about the care of newborns. Instead, moms leave the hospital with a bag full of free formula samples. Lactation consultant services are prohibitively expensive.

And if we wanted our poor children to have the opportunity to grow up healthy and rise to contribution, we would be spending more money on parent eduction and services than on war (and how ironic our wars are against people of color.) With some research I found out Milwaukee county already has a Breastfeeding Coalition, which I’m sure could use some funding.

Instead of “targeting” anybody (people of color or formula feeders) with controlling black and white propaganda, I’d like to see cities add community programs to help parents find sobriety, to promote breastfeeding, to provide one-on-one  breastfeeding counseling.  And with obesity as a factor, how about free and easily accessible diabetes testing, supplies, vegetables and nutrition consultations, sleep apnea testing and treatment. And guess what, unlike ad propaganda (which benefit a few ad executives), the sorts of programs I just suggested…create jobs!!!

Because the main problem with these ads is not that they are shameful, false and rude. The main problem is that they won’t save babies. I know this because I am a mom who was sleep deprived. And I know it because as a postpartum doula and I have volunteered with disadvantaged moms. They had cribs gotten for free and they already knew, like every other mother, that it is recommended to put baby on his back in a crib (even though anyway more babies die in cribs more often than beds?). But moms will say over and over that they know the baby should be on her back in a crib, all the while falling asleep with baby in bed day and night, out of sheer exhaustion.

It is exhausting to have a new baby and co-sleeping makes things easier. Add to that the fact that none of the deceased babies in Milwaukee were breastfed,  and our knowledge that breastfeeding is a protective factor against sleeping deaths and I see a the real solution for Milwaukee’s problem quite clearly.

What will save babies’ lives? More Government sponsored breastfeeding promotion, education and support for underprivileged families. (And maybe an ad about how to co-sleep safely.)

Call to Action:

For those who want to send a note to Wisconsin Dept. of Health, Contact Monica at the Family Care Partnership Program.  and the City of Milwaukee Health Department  and email these offices suggesting that campaigns geared towards teaching safe co-sleeping and promoting and supporting breastfeeding would be more effective than these ads.

Contact your own city and county health departments and ask how they are working toward promoting safe co-sleeping education and breastfeeding support!

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Thanks for reading a post in the Safe Cosleeping Blog Carnival. On Carnival day, please follow along on Twitter using the #CosleepCar hashtag.
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

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• Emotive Co-Sleeping Campaign – Miriam at Diary of an Unconscious Mother talks about her feelings on Milwaukee’s anti-cosleeping crusade and its latest advertising campaign.
• Why Cosleeping has Always been the Right Choice for My Family – Patti at Jazzy Mama shares how lucky she feels to have the privilege of sleeping with her four children.
• Cosleeping is a safe, natural and healthy solution parents need to feel good about. – See how Tilly at Silly Blatherings set up a side-car crib configuration to meet her and her families’ needs.
• Black and White: Race and the Cosleeping Wars – Moorea at Mama Lady: Adventures in Queer Parenting points out the problem of race, class and health when addressing co-sleeping deaths and calls to action better sleep education and breastfeeding support in underprivileged communities.
• Reflections on Cosleeping – Jenny at I’m a Full Time Mummy shares her thoughts on cosleeping and pictures of her cosleeping beauties.
• Cosleeping and Transitioning to Own Bed – Isil at Smiling Like Sunshine shares her experiences in moving beyond the family bed.
• What Works for One Family – Momma Jorje shares why cosleeping is for her and why she feels it is the natural way to go. She also discusses the actual dangers and explores why it may not be for everyone.
• Really High Beds, Co-Sleeping Safely, and the Humanity Family Sleeper – Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama gives a quick view of Jennifer’s bed-sharing journey and highlights the Humanity Family Sleeper, something Jennifer could not imagine bed-sharing without.
• Crying in Our Family Bed – With such a sweet newborn, why has adding Ailia to the family bed made Dionna at Code Name: Mama cry?
• Dear Mama: – Zoie at TouchstoneZ shares a letter from the viewpoint of her youngest son about cosleeping.
• Cuddle up, Buttercup! – Nada of The MiniMOMist and her husband Michael have enjoyed cosleeping with their daughter Naomi almost since birth. Nada shares why the phrase “Cuddle up, Buttercup!” has such special significance to her.
• Co-Sleeping With A Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler – Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling shares how co-sleeping calls us to trust our inner maternal wisdom and embrace the safety and comfort of the family bed.
• Fear instead of Facts: An Opportunity Squandered in Milwaukee – Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction discusses Milwaukee’s missed opportunity to educate on safe cosleeping.
• Cosleeping: A Mini-rant and a Lovely Picture – Siobhan at Res Ipsa Loquitor discusses her conversion to cosleeping and rants a little bit about the Milwaukee Health Department anti-cosleeping campaign.
• Our Cosleeping Story – Adrienne at Mommying My Way shares her cosleeping story and the many bonus side effects of bedsharing.
• Cosleeping can be safe and rewarding Christy at Mommy Outnumbered shares how her cosleeping experiences have been good for her family.
• Adding one more to the family bed Lauren at Hobo Mama discusses the safety logistics of bed sharing with a new baby and a preschooler.
• The Truth About Bedsharing – Dr. Sarah at Parenting Myths and Facts discusses the research into bedsharing and risk – and explains why it is so often misrepresented.
• Cosleeping as a parenting survival tool – Melissa V. at Mothers of Change describes how she discovered cosleeping when her first baby was born. Melissa is the editor and a board member for the Canadian birth advocacy group, Mothers of Change.
• Dear Delilah – Joella at Fine and Fair writes about her family bed and the process of finding the cosleeping arrangements that work best for her family.
• CoSleeping ROCKS! – Melissa at White Noise talks about the evolution of cosleeping in her family.
• Safe Sleep is a Choice – Tamara at Pea Wee Baby talks about safe sleep guidelines.
• 3 Babies Later: The Evolution of our Family Bed – Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment talks about how her family’s cosleeping arrangements evolved as her family grew.
• Tender Moments – The Accidental Natural Mama discusses tender cosleeping moments.
• Cosleeping Experiences – Lindsey at An Unschooling Adventure describes how she ended up co-sleeping with her daughter through necessity, despite having no knowledge of the risks involved and how to minimise them, and wishes more information were made available to help parents co-sleep safely.
• The early days of bedsharing – Luschka at Diary of a First Child shares her early memories of bedsharing with her then new born and gets excited as she plans including their new arrival into their sleeping arrangements.
• The Joys of Cosleeping in Pictures – Charise of I Thought I Knew Mama shares pictures of some of her favorite cosleeping moments.
• Symbiotic Sleep – Mandy at Living Peacefully With Children discusses how the symbiotic cosleeping relationship benefits not only children but also parents.
• Co-sleeping Barriers: What’s Stopping You? – Kelly at Becoming Crunchy shares how she was almost prevented from gaining the benefits of co-sleeping her family currently enjoys.
• Co-Sleeping with the Family Humanity Sleeper – Erica at ChildOrganics shares a way to make co-sleeping safe, comfortable and more convenient. Check out her post featuring the Humanity Organic Family Sleeper.
• Why We Cosleep – That Mama Gretchen’s husband chimes in on why cosleeping is a benefit to their family.
• Adding to the Family Bed – Darah at A Girl Named Gus writes about her co-sleeping journey and what happens when a second child comes along.